I have been putting off writing this over years, so a lot of thoughts here are ones that have been roaming through my mind. I think looking for a relationship generally I detrimental to ending up in one. That many people get lost in between thought and even a lot of newly weds do this — Ask for relationship advice. But when I figured that with access to hundreds of thousands of amazing, smart people with America question, I could get one step further by saying why not consult readers, why not as them thier own best relationship/marriage advice? Why not synthesize all of thier wisdom and experience into something straightforward and applicable to any relationship, no matter who you are.
This is what I asked; Anyone who’s been married for lot years and is still happy in thier relationship… What lessons would you pass down to each other if you could? What is working for you and your partner?
Who are divorced, what didn’t work previously?… I know the answer would be incredibly repetitive!
Not insult actually, it’s the opposite. Not to mention a relief. Everyone with the own histories, tragedies, mistakes and triumphs.
But before I get into what you should do in your relationship.. Let’s start with what not to do.
Don’t ever be with someone because someone else pressured you to.
— pressure from family and friends
— Being young and naive and hopelessly in love & thinking that love would solve everything…
NOTE; Sometimes loves isn’t enough and everything that makes a relationship ” WORK “(And by work I mean, it’s happy and sustainable for both people involved) Requires a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other. Without mutual admiration, everything else will unravel.
So now let’s delve on to what to do in a relationship.
1. Be together for the high reason
2. Have realistic expectations about relationship and Romance.
“You are absolutely not going to be a GaGa over each other every single day for the rest of your Lives.” I think if more couples understood that, they would be less inclined to panic and rush to break-up or divorce over a shitty ass problem cause in ancient times, people genuinely considered love a sickness.
3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, But RESPECT.
What I can tell you is the 1# thing……. RESPECT. it’s not sexual attraction, looks, shared goals, religion or lack of…..nor love. There’re times when you won’t feel love for your partner. But you never want to loose respect for your partner. Cause once you loose it, you’ll never get it Back!.
4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts.
5. Give each other space .
Be sure you have a life of your own, otherwise it’d be harder to have a life together. Have your own interest and hobbies.
6. Get Good at fighting but not domestic violence.
“The relationship is a living breathing thing. Much like the body and muscle, I cannot get stronger without stress and challenge. You have to fight.you have to harsh things out. Obstacles makes it up! But, always forgive… I say!
7. Be practical and create relationship RULES.
We all have things we are good at and not so good at. Talk to your partner about those thing when it comes to orders and conquering all the crap that has to get done in life. The sooner everyone accepts that, the happier everyone is.
I would end this by summarizing the advice in one tidy section.
“You can work through anything as long as you are not destroying yourself or the other.
#. MAKE nothing off-limits to discuss.
#. Never shame or mock each other on the things that makes you happy. Cause most people never reach this deep unconditional Love.
#. Do not complain about your partner to anyone. Love them for who they are.. Trust each other.
And have a life out of each other. Pamper, adore and be proud of each other.
THAT’S WHEN YOU’LL MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE.! and LET LOVE LEADs .